For the first time, i really feel like giving up. I can’t be strong and hopeful as before.
Ever since that fateful night, everything seems to fit in just like what was being foretold. Every sentence, every word is getting clearer and i’m starting to accept the “facts”, or her “facts”.
I see that now, we are always in two different world. What she sees, i can’t see. What i feel, she doesn’t feel. We are like as if we are a pair of parallel lines.
And i used to believe in love can change everything, and believe me, i’ve changed. For her. Maybb not much, but i’m always trying to embrace changes. After all, we would be together till death do us part, no?
A heart that was once mistrusted. A heart that was once betrayed.
It’s not easy for someone like me to ignore or hide my feeling when my heart was threatened. And your recent actions particularly, the repercussion of your every action have not been helpful either. The secrets that you have been keeping away from me, the reason of denouncing of our status in front of your colleagues, the friends (or rather those friends who fucking irk me) who seems to stood by you and so many more.
Yes, i heard and understood every of your reason of doing. But they are not convincing and especially totally unhelpful at this point of the time, a time where i’m losing faith. And this remind me something which you would say, “never will we understand each other point of view”. And trust me, my heart got so so so disheartened when i’ve to repeat that phrase.
All these moments since that night, i’ve got this feeling of out of faith. I don’t see light, i don’t see hope. And every time i see the face in the mirror, i was embarrassed for what i may have done right, or even not? I keep questioning myself, whether i walked the right path.
I don’t know. My heart is in a fix.
But i love you. Still.
he was sitting down here
thinking of what you would be dreaming tonight
the road we travelled?
the couple seat we had?
the kisses we once had?
or are you dreaming of me?
but do you really understand the meaning behind his smile?
he knows that he was dreaming